London Letter: Scales’s mischievious “Hail Halake”, dog dinners, and cyber dog-fights. 

Editor,                 

I have just come across your good friend Michael Scales “Hail Halake” remark and I must say I had a good laugh. It is good to see that the Englishman has a sense of humour! “Hail Scales”, I should say in return though it certainly does not have the same majestical ring as the imperial (Ethiopian) “Haile Halake”! But let me look at Mr. Scale’s “Hail Halake” in context – you can never trust these Englishmen as they talk with forked tongues!! 

Mr Scales wrote “Of course I am an impartial observer.. not like the one in Banjul .... but they say every dog has its day ..... and the other day the dog had its dinner. Hail Halake !!!” 

“I am an impartial observer” is actually correct – this particular Englishman does actually try to be objective and impartial (and non-abusive!!!) – hence sometimes he gets into trouble for saying good things about Jammeh where he deems such praise due. 

“Not like the Observer in Banjul” … hold it there old boy! You know the Observer’s current appearance and even current key staff are mine very own, so I am bound to come to their defence (I share the credit for what you say is its non-objective editorial policy with the great APRC intellectual Dr. Taal). I defend the Observer simply by saying that their pro-APRC subjectivity is quite simply a balancing act to obtain balanced objectivity within the Gambia media field. All the other media houses are biased too. Hence my mathematical equation for the realisation of balanced objectivity is as follows:  

TS + Ou.S = BO where T represents “their”, S represents “subjectivity” Ou represents “our” and BO represents “balanced objectivity”. 

Then of course Mr Scales compares me to a “dog”!! Un-intentionally of course, but Mr Scales should bear in mind that we former colonials have appropriated the colonialists own mother-tongue, and being rather prickly about being enslaved and colonised, we are bound to give him a tongue-lashing whenever he, as a “native” speaker, makes a slip-of-the-tongue (his mother-tongue). Of course I will be much more gentle to Mr. Scales than my fellow Fula-Man in the other place (I am of course a non-colonised Ethiopian with a certain sense of Imperial superiority to Englishmen!). Joking apart Mr. Scales, there was a big up-roar sometime in the 1970s when in that excellent movie called “A touch of class” Miss Glenda Jackson named her beautiful Labrador Dog “Kenyatta”!! Of course, she meant it affectionately – for she liked Kenya and Kenyatta – but in non-Anglophile cultures you can’t speak of someone and a dog in the same breath! But this imperial Ethiopian will ignore such slight slights – and no Chaucerian stones will be hurled in your direction! 

As for “the dog having had its dinner the other day”, I thought I was just nibbling on some fresh lettuce for starters! Our imperial dinners are much more of a banquet than mere lettuce!! Just ask any Gambian who has been feted in an Ethiopian’s Addis home. 

Finally Pa, having said everyone is subjective, I must give you credit for coming out rather objective in the raging cyber civil-war – by allowing all sides to have their say. But us “older folk”, to use your own affectionate term for me, would probably try and keep the peace by stopping the fight much sooner. 

Have a nice day all, 

Hailed Halake.