A Long Letter to Justicia: Your Life- Your Goal

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A Long Letter to Justicia: Your Life- Your Goal 
Dear Love,
The last time I took a look at your beauty was at the latest Caucus organised by the University of The Gambia Debate Association. I heard, I have done you proud! Certainly, you know that, I am used to the worries of the night before delivering morning lectures.  Dear, I am indebted to the comfort you offer me. Be sure, I will continue to survive the discomforts.
The much polarized political atmosphere at the University several days today was expected to be historic but considered- COVID 19 is a beast!
Assure me while you read this letter that, you are safe in Talinding?
Love, the world is so much of itself. Too mysterious that, even the philosophers argued its mystery cannot be unlocked by mere reasoning. In fact, they have urged us not to even trust ourselves entirely. This is the extent to which, and how much the search to unravel the complexities of the world have led some philosophers to conclude.
I am one admirer of the philosophers and REASON. This is why within only a few years in the academic circle, the absorption of theories – different teaching have placed me to picture the universe as a mysterious circle of an indefinable trajectory, the beginning and the ending of which is not fully within the comprehension of the “all curious self-acclaimed most intelligent creatures”. 
Dearest Justicia, I have a plan anyway. A plan for myself and for this beautiful mother earth, who despite my love for Her (like you) finds delight in tormenting me.  But I won’t mind her, I hope she would reward me later with much love.  That is all I ask for…
I have a plan, because every life deserves one: “A purpose to live and die for”. If this is not one, nothing is.
My simple plan is to “Contribute to building an enlightened world”
Even while I have a plan dear; I also bear the conviction that, man cannot make appointment with nature. For this and other reasons, I have intended to execute my plan at every breath of my life. I don’t trust in the future. It is a scam. But any time I attempted at this plan it was always greeted by impeding blocks: Self-doubts and “the strange voices”. 
I have read at least more than “five pamphlets”, but unlike many Gambians- failed to dub myself an avid reader nor an intellectual for obvious reasons. It is a prerogative in this part of the world for individuals, I mean lovers of magnificent tittles to brand themselves as intellectuals. I have never bothered to ask what it really means either. Of  clarity; and as evidently manifested over the years, they brag about as motivational speakers and scholars most of whom can only remember a single quotations from Frank Fannon with zero publication on their names.
Well, I was talking about the mysterious world and my little plan. Please remind me sweetheart to stay put on the topic.
So, let me get on…
Most Sweet Justicia, the closest enemies we all have are our instincts and fear of judgement. The phobia of been judged by individual opinions, if to ever be considered in decision making will defeat every goal that one would ever set for his or her life.
I have realised this, and built a mental pictures of myself: “I am my ideas and not what you hold of me”.  Opinions hardly ring on my ears. So, I remain strong in any conviction that I hold true to myself, because myself is all I am. “I don’t care what you think of me”.
This “truth” about myself have set me free- to think and act purely on the guidance of my clear conscience-free of “much” external influence or interference.
I remember the few instances you would point to my ‘bragging‘ character. In your pitiful Wollof voice “byl sup ah” (stop boosting in Wollof) . That is still your short way of protesting against my confidence.
Well Love, what I have always tried to develop is a genuine appreciation of myself and my capability and ignored every “self-doubt” brought to my mind by surrounding circumstances. But self-doubt  is not the only problem…. Even when I did away with self-doubt wholly, the assessment of my ideas and acts by individuals whom I in this instance called “the strange voices” will be the subsequent challenge I would come to face.
Love! The world is such that, all acts are subjected to questioning and omissions are offered the same treatment. The better of the two, my grandma will always argue (in the voice of Lagamy, a friend) is to do what one wants or intends to do.
See… In my understanding, it is my responsibility to listen to those who question my capability. However, it is more my job to assess the questions rationally and to decide which is relevant in relation to what I want or intend to do.
The strange voices are those who concentrate on unfairly expressing doubts over one’s capability. The worst is to allow your mind to be chained within the direction of their doubts about yourself instead of you concentrating on executing your plans base on your trust in your capabilities.
If you have been observant, I have always stock true- believing I AM CAPABLE. This is greatest of all mindset.
My Corona! (Because you are too infectious)
Let me get back to mother earth in relation to setting up one’s goal
Justicia, the big difference between understanding the world and setting up goals is that the former cannot fully be understood while the progress of the latter could be influenced by how events unfold with the former. Therefore, necessity demands one to strike a balance, be dynamic, and settle to effect change at every little chance presented  to him or her.
You should understand that, the pleasantries of live are not to be taken for granted, because when the table turns around it require a total adaptation to the new conditions in place. For example, like I am expected to adopt living a month without seeing you, avoid placing my hands on my face, stay at home for a month among others. We need to be dynamic to survive love.
But Love…Remember I did initially argued that, man cannot make appointment with nature. Death could strike at any instance. This is not a theory or a hypothesis, it is a reality and un-apagogically it does not require any one’s approval or otherwise.
So let me tell you about my goal: “Contribute to building an enlightened world”
Much beloved Justicia…. Take for example, I want to accomplish the goal of creating awareness or enlightenment around the circle of my community and nation. I don’t need anyone’s approval to do it. In fact, you Love and those who follow me especially friends and close ones may have seen this demonstrated many times in my practices.
 Few memorable instances of this fact are my love for debate, teaching, publications on newspapers, and contribution in civic radio and TV programmes  among others. All these activities reflect my quest to contribute in creating awareness and these doesn’t need anyone’s approval for me to engage on.
I mentioned and talked about the strange voices somewhere initially…
 These strange voices have posed legitimate questions about me, such as “are you enlightened to enlighten others?” “You are such as little boy with no experience” or “You are just a university sophomore”? ” What can you really share with the world full of people with wisdom”?  These are legitimate questions indeed but not until when I realised that wisdom is not something reserved for any age nor is its acquisition premised on experience, and only if we equally forget the world has enough of fools as intelligent people.
Sweetheart, I have realised these questions could go all my life, and the questions are dangerous. I know, at least, at this point of my life some questions as legitimate as they may appear, are impeding blocks to my plan. So, I ignored them and moved on!  I got to do what I got to do while I can!
Dearest Justicia, every life should get a goal worth working for or a plan to execute. Get yourself one. Decide what you want of your talent or capability as an intelligent being. We all have one or more capabilities.
When you have one, move on and execute it. Don’t wait for the future, it doesn’t exist. The future is a scam. You must equally, and at all instances remember that holding a low opinion of yourself is a vice thus, find virtue in genuinely appreciating yourself and trusting in your capability love.
Make a move now.
It has been pointed to me earlier that you cannot cook? Don’t ask if I trust the individual who informed me. If this is a fact, I have to keep reminding myself that love is all of itself- don’t be bothered. I would be the unusual Gambian husband- I will cook for you.
While I hope to see you soon, PLEASE follow the WHO guidelines and remain safe!
Promise me you would survive COVID 19?
Your
Toney
Written by Toney F Mendy 
Third Year-Law Student
University of The Gambia.
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